No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
