Duck Duck Cougar?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize