We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
