what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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