I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
