Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
