It's Friday. Sex?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
