im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just pee around me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
