I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
