Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
