Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize