Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Randomize
