even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
