Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
