capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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