I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
