you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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