Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
