is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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