Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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