Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize