we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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