Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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