i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
