I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
