I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize