what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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