my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
foreskin is a definite game changer
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
