well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
