listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
