She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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