Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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