Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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