K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
