she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
