This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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