Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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