He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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