Christians are straight up FREAKS
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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