I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
