Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
