It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
