I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
