I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
