i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize