Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
NoShamevember. You game?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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