Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
