yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
