Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
