Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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