he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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