Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i believe in u and ur pee
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