Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
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