I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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