I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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