she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize