i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
