In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i would one night stand the shit outta him
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
