but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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