You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
