and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize