You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Sext me about skeletons
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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