Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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