no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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