also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
