i don't like sucking hair
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
