My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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