their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Randomize
