so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
