yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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